Posts filed under 'Humor'

Steven Miles on The Decider’s CIA “enhanced techniques”

Bioethicist Steven Miles has obtained and sent me The Decider’s personally-annotated copy of selected portions of last Friday’s Executive Order reauthorizing the CIA’s abuse regime:

Annotated Sections of President Bush-Cheney’s Ultra New Executive Order on CIA Interrogation

Steven Miles, MD. Author of Oath Betrayed: Torture, Medical Complicity, and the War on Terror.
=========================
Bush’s Executive [I'm the decider] Order Friday, July 20, 2007; 3:59 PM

INTERPRETATION OF THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS COMMON ARTICLE 3 AS APPLIED TO A PROGRAM OF DETENTION AND INTERROGATION OPERATED BY THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY

[Note: The Geneva Conventions state: "No physical or mental torture, nor any other form of coercion, may be inflicted on prisoners of war to secure from them information of any kind whatever. Prisoners of war who refuse to answer may not be threatened, insulted, or exposed to any unpleasant or disadvantageous treatment of any kind." but that is Article 17 so forget it.]

The Military Commissions Act defines certain prohibitions of Common Article 3 for United States law, and it reaffirms and reinforces the authority of the President to interpret the meaning and application of the Geneva Conventions. [

[Note: Article X of the Geneva Conventions can kiss off, "No derogation from the preceding provisions shall be made by special agreements"]

[Note: Article VII: says "Prisoners of war may in no circumstances renounce in part or in entirety the rights secured to them by the present Convention, and by the special agreements referred to in the foregoing Article, if such there be." however the Military Commissions Act says:

"(a) IN GENERAL.—No person may invoke the Geneva Conventions or any protocols thereto in any habeas corpus or other civil action or proceeding to which the United States, or a current or former officer, employee, member of the Armed Forces, or other agent of the United States is a party as a source of rights in any court of the United States or its States or territories. ... <

3) INTERPRETATION BY THE PRESIDENT.— (A) As provided by the Constitution and by this section, the President has the authority for the United States to interpret the meaning and application of the Geneva Conventions and to promulgate higher standards and administrative regulations for violations of treaty obligations which are not grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions. (B) The President shall issue interpretations described by subparagraph (A) by Executive Order published in the Federal Register. (C) Any Executive Order published under this paragraph shall be authoritative (except as to grave breaches of common Article 3) as a matter of United States law, in the same manner as other administrative regulations. ---so like I said, I AM THE DECIDER.]

(c) “Cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment” means the cruel, unusual, and inhumane treatment or punishment prohibited by the Fifth, Eighth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the Constitution of the United States.

[Note: "Amendment V: No person shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law;" ugh except evildoers, as defined by me or my staff, witnessing against self is OK in off-shore facilities and coerced testimony obtained without a lawyer present does not mean compelled--I am the decider.]

[Note: "Amendment VIII: Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted." No bail at all is not excessive, so sayeth DECIDER."]

I hereby determine that Common Article 3 shall apply to a program of detention and interrogation operated by the Central Intelligence Agency as set forth in this section.

[Note: Noting that the other hundred or so articles in the four Geneva Conventions do not apply, it is specifically OK for the CIA to continue its program of extraordinary renditions because this is only addressed in article 49 of the 4th conventions, "Individual or mass forcible transfers, as well as deportations of protected persons from occupied territory to the territory of the Occupying Power or to that of any other country, occupied or not, are prohibited, regardless of their motive." Kidnapping and being dropped in Uzbekistan is not in and of itself cruel, nor is it all that unusual, lots of people go to Uzbekistan. The CIA is not responsible for protecting such tourists. --TD. ]

GEORGE W. BUSH

THE WHITE HOUSE,

July 20, 2007.

Add comment July 22nd, 2007

Eminent friends-of-the-court

Talking Points Memo has a piece on an amusing  footnote in the court order allowing Lewis Libby’s buddy’s to issue friend-of-the-court briefs:

It is an impressive show of public service when twelve prominent and distinguished current and former law professors of well-respected schools are able to amass their collective wisdom in the course of only several days to provide their legal expertise to the Court on behalf of a criminal defendant.

The Court trusts that this is a reflection of these eminent academics’ willingness in the future to step to the plate and provide like assistance in cases involving any of the numerous litigants, both in this Court and throughout the courts of our nation, who lack the financial means to fully and properly articulate the merits of their legal positions even in instances where failure to do so could result in monetary penalties, incarceration, or worse. The Court will certainly not hesitate to call for such assistance from these luminaries, as necessary in the interests of justice and equity, whenever similar questions arise in the cases that come before it. (emphasis added)

Remember, Judge Walton was appointed by President Bush.

1 comment June 9th, 2007

Senator Allard on first responders

I can’t resist this from Josh Marshall. It is one of the best illustrations of the essence of modern politics:

Annals of poorly edited press releases.

This is pretty damn funny. Sen. Wayne Allard (R-CO) was putting out a press release praising first responders. In the process of putting the press release together, the press aide composing it wrote in some editorial comments to the effect that first responders don’t really do jack.

Unfortunately those glosses got left in the copy when the thing was released, leaving the senator to say

“First responders in Colorado have recently provided critical services in the face of blizzards and tornados,” added Allard. “Since I don’t think first responders have really done anything significant in comparison to their counterparts who have dealt with real natural disasters, I have no idea what else to say here…”

Allard isn’t running for reelection. Good idea.

Add comment June 2nd, 2007

New memory aid revealed: Subpoenas — Now With Immunity

An ad for an important new drug for memory loss problems like those that tormented so many Justice Department political appointees: : Subpoenas: Now With Immunity.

Add comment May 24th, 2007

Godfather IV: Fredo’s Revenge

From Congressional hearings to blockbuster movie in days:

1 comment May 21st, 2007

Catholic Church can’t take a joke

Thoroughly believable:

Vatican calls verbal attack on Pope “terrorism”

ROME (Reuters) - The Vatican’s official newspaper accused an Italian comedian on Wednesday of “terrorism” for criticizing the Pope and warned his rhetoric could fuel a return to 1970s-style political violence.

In an unusually strongly worded editorial, L’Osservatore Romano said a presenter of a televised May Day rock concert, which is sponsored by Italy’s labor unions, had launched “vile attacks” on Pope Benedict in front of an “excitable crowd”.

“This, too, is terrorism. It’s terrorism to launch attacks on the Church,” it said. “It’s terrorism to stoke blind and irrational rage against someone who always speaks in the name of love, love for life and love for man.”

And what was this “terrorism?”

“The Pope says he doesn’t believe in evolution. I agree, in fact the Church has never evolved,” he said.

He also criticized the Church for refusing to give a Catholic funeral to Piergiorgio Welby, a man who campaigned for euthanasia as he lay paralyzed with muscular dystrophy. He died in December after a doctor agreed to unplug his respirator.

“I can’t stand the fact that the Vatican refused a funeral for Welby but that wasn’t the case for (Chilean dictator Augusto) Pinochet or (Spanish dictator Francisco) Franco,” he said between musical acts at the open-air concert.

Calling someone a “terrorist” in today’s culture is a call for their destruction. The Catholic Church, in recovery from its decades long conspiracy to protect pedophiles, is now acting as a purveyor of hate speech.

1 comment May 3rd, 2007

Great Moments in Punditry


[Click image for full cartoon.]

Add comment April 29th, 2007

America: Sweet Freedom

My son asked me to post this reflection upon American patriotism:

Add comment April 11th, 2007

Fiore on Walter Reeed scandal

Watch Mark Fiore on the treatment of wounded troops.

Add comment March 13th, 2007

OK, he’s a Big Man

Big man
[h/t AMERICAblog.]

Add comment March 13th, 2007

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